So I forgot everything I knew and had a Life and Teachings of Christ test, so I went home to find my mind. This is that tale.
In the Front Room of my house
Fjord was
Noodling with a
Babel Fish! What is noodling you ask? It’s where you pretend to be a noodle by keeping your bottom half rigid and your top half all floppy! It’s silly!
I walked into the Hall Way and
Fjord was there too... This time he was
Speaking Spanish with a
Pearl. It was very strange indeed. On the left wall there was a picture of my old friend (and my brother’s enemy?)
Cyrus with
Fjord Sailing a Viking ship. They arrive at their destination
Fjord dons a white gown like those crazies in that one band and starts to
preach about Dr. Bronner’s Soap. Rad! Next, still on the left wall, we have a picture of my buddy
Darry, all blinged out.
Fjord is
telling him about an opportunity day and Darry, like everyone else on the planet, thinks that it is a silly name for a test. After that
Darry puts in an 8-track tape where
Jimmy Hendrix starts singing about
Slug Brains! Far Out! On the Right Wall there is a mural that’s all transformy. It starts off with
XEXYZ, the first platformer I ever played. Good game. It transforms into XEXYZ 2:
AFTERXEXYZ. Admittedly this was never a real game. It then transforms into a picture of Darry’s Son:
Darry II. That transforms into
AFTERXEXYZ: II; which finally transforms into the ultimate:
AFTERXEXYZ: III.
I am totally blown away by my hall way. I remember the time when I had to wash the wall because my little brother wrote on it with permanent marker but I got over it and he got in trouble because of our stupid baby sitter. Some is in big trouble this time!!! So then I go to Tara’s room.
Rock is in there this time, he is
talking about NorCal with a bowl of (disgusting)
grease. It was gross. And the grease thought that NorCal was silly and a poser name for Northern California.
I leave and go back into the hallway, and
Rock is out there now, but this time he
smells TERRIBLE. All the pictures that were in the room are gone, and there is instead a picture of
Ptolemy, the Egyptian ruler guy. He is looking at Rock... I decide to get out of there before there is some serious mummy action.
I go into Walt’s room, and for some reason, the
Quaker Oats Guy is in there! He is talking to some totally hot chicks (
Sirens to be more accurate, so you know, keep a distance) and he is saying,
“I am 95% sure that we can abandon the null hypothesis and--” I leave the room because it is just TOO bizarre.
When I get into the hallway I see the
Quaker Oats Guy out there, but this time he is silent. Why is he silent is a reasonable question. Well there is a pretty good answer. HE WAS
WATCHING STARGATE!!! With some
really really old Jews I might add. One of the Jews is holding a huge hammer I might add. The other one has the hammer merit badge.
I then go into the next section of the hallway and the
QOG is there again! This time he is
putting a Babel Fish into his ear and showing some
Has-been’s (who are moaning) how to do it.
So then I go into my Mom’s room, skipping Thomas’ room because my mind won’t be there for sure.
Ozzy Osbourne was in there. He was
watching that Movie SLC Punk with some
gladiator dude. I sit down to watch and Ozzy (what a jerk) changes the channel. I start to pay more attention to the TV and the TV has a video of someone selling my house!! They are doing one of those walkthrough things... I watch intently:
The salesperson is talking to a guy named
Harry Harrison. I already don’t trust the guy.
They are surprised when they walk into the front room and see Harry Harrison’s son,
Harry there. He is with my
Aunt Annie and
Jimi Hendrix Music is playing in the background. Nothing strange at all here!
They continue the tour and go into the infamous hallway. The hallways has transformed into some
Arches Laying on the ground.
Jimi Hendix Music is playing there and
Dr. Anderson is writing on what is left of one of the walls (What’s the deal with writing on those walls anyway?)
They go to Tara’s room and there is
antipasta ALL OVER THE FLOOR.
Jimi Hendrix is acting like a thug (like always) but this time he is
Speaking Spanish... What the heck? Black Santana? With Spaghetti?
When they go back to the hallway it looks fine, but this time my Step Dad
Phil is in there and he is actually discussing music with
Hendrix. He is showing Jimi a
CD.
Then they go into the next part of the Hallway, Harry is freaking out. His grandson,
Harry (who is gripping a nailgun) is watching
Kevin Tucker shoot a man in a rabbit suite in the face.They stumble into Thomas’ room, just in time to avoid the gunshot, and see
Harry II (who is also gripping a nailgun) watching TV where
Ozzy Osbourne is
shouting at ME!!!! It is so bizarre that Ozzy who is looking at me while we watch TV of people in my house watching TV of people watching them, Shouts at me! Then they change the channel and see the
Quaker Oats guy bite the head off of a bat. They immediately leave the house because it is just too weird.
I also think that this is strange, and, in search of my mind, go into my mom’s bathroom. I take the
gladiator dude’s sword, just in case. In mom’s bathroom there are
leaves falling from the trees and they are all different colors. In there there is a weird scene.
Shiloh Hockman is flirting with
Heath Nunnamacher. Weird!
So I go back into mom’s room, and it’s
snowing in there!
AD, from WI, is
talking about CGI’s from movies. Obviously there is no mind in here!
So then I leave into the hallway. I see
Gaea wearing boots. She is watching
Kevin Tucker read in a park. She is like a spy, except she isn’t real.
I then go into Thomas’ bathroom, hoping that the shenanigans are over. In the bathroom I see
Cloud, from FF7, and he is with
DA who is
speaking French with Cloud. I didn’t know Cloud knew french...
So I leave that and go back into the hallway.
The hallway is on FIRE!!! What is the deal with my house?! Not only is it on fire, but
Amy Davis is there, and
she’s SUPER PREGNANT! What is going on?!
I go into the next part of the hallway and this girl I knew in middle school is there. Her name was
Libby and she talked ALL THE TIME. Sheryl Huddleston is with her and they are
eating some bacon together. The bacon looks delicious, but I don’t wanna be around Libby any more than I have to be.
I then turn the corner in my hallway and everything is at a right angle, like,
orthogonal! Sweet! Sharp and blunt edges beware, we now have the perfect balance!
J-Dot walked in with me and I show him the corner where Walt hit his head once and had to get stitches (I think) and tell him how he still has scars from it.
Then I go to the kitchen, still with
J-Dot, and Lee is telling us about this Perl Jam album,
Vitalogy. He obviously loves the album. Not surprising, it is by Perl Jam after all.
Then we go into the dining room.
J-Dot sees his girlfriend a
Vespa scooter and get’s so mad that he starts to
Glean Grain. I don’t understand those two. I leave to go back to the kitchen.
In the kitchen I see that AO guy
Titus trying to flirt with
Sarah Kramer who is
poking me, saying “Hey, hey, hey.” I ask Sarah why she is in my house with all these crazies and she tells me that she just wanted to say, Hi. She then leaves. Interesting.
I then see
Harrison (Harry! What a wookie!) and he is saying that
he won’t sell out to the
Domination of the government. At this point I remember where my mind is, and all this nonsense that I saw evaporates... My mind was stored with Google!!!
Current Mood: Ready like C-4 that one time...
Current Music: The Yeah Yeah Yeah Song - The Flaming Lips